Thursday, August 01, 2013

Woman MSDS

Material Safety Data Sheet
Element: Woman
Symbol: WO
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 118lbs., known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.
Occurrence: Copious quantities throughout the world.
Physical properties:
* Surface usually covered with a painted field and a variety of esthers.
* Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
* Melts when given special treatment.
* Bitter if incorrectly used.
* Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
* Yields to pressure applied at correct points.
Chemical properties:
* Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
* Absorbs great quantities of attention.
* VOLATILE: May explode without warning for no apparent reason.
* Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.
Most common uses:
* Primarily ornamental, especially in sports cars.
* Found to be a great aid to relaxation.
* Pure specimen turns rosey pink when discovered in its natural state.
* Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen. Hazards:
* Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
* Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.